1. Delay.
This gives you time to think (of the effect of your words) before you speak. Use a niceness filter.
2. Never attack a weak-point.
Every person has a shortcoming that he/she is aware of. Never hit the chink of their armour. For example never tease a short guy about his height or a dull girl about her intelligence.
3. Let go of your ego.
If you stop caring about your own "importance" then you will hardly pay attention to any "affronts" to you - real or imagined. Then there will be no need to retaliate. This is actually the secret to never having quarrels/fights: Not minding.
1 is hard to do and requires a lot of practice.
2 requires that you know the person well.
3 is hard even to accept; it is so contrary to what we hold on tightly to. But imbibing it will make you a much happier and friendlier person.
Showing posts with label human nature. Show all posts
Showing posts with label human nature. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Thursday, September 11, 2008
The most important quality
If I were asked "What is the most important quality that a person should have?" I would invariably say: "The desire to learn, improve and change". Every other quality can be procured by this quality. It is this quality that has proved to be the most useful to me and it is this quality that allows me to increase and expand the set of good qualities that I have. But for that there are certain pre-requisites:
1) You must realize the necessity of improvement.
2) You must reduce your ego to the extent that you accept your shortcomings.
3) You must recognize opportunities to improve or acquire a trait.
4) You must try to imbibe those qualites wholeheartedly.
1) You must realize the necessity of improvement.
2) You must reduce your ego to the extent that you accept your shortcomings.
3) You must recognize opportunities to improve or acquire a trait.
4) You must try to imbibe those qualites wholeheartedly.
Monday, March 17, 2008
why is so much expected from the youth?
Pick up any magazine and you'll find surveys about what the youth think, feel and believe. Read any newspaper and you'll find editorials filled with hope in the young of our country. Why are they given so much importance? What makes the youth different from the others?
Idealism
Youth is a time of believing and pursuing ideals. It's a time where you see things that aren't supposed to be, but are, and take it upon yourself to set things right. To fight for a cause is one of the defining moments of youth.
Conviction
When you are young, you believe everything is possible. You are not weighed down by years of failure and experience that tends to make you practical and compromising. When you want to do something, you go about doing it. You don't think about whether you'll be able to do it. " Of course I'll be able to do it", you hear yourself say, "There are no limits to what I can achieve".
Energy
When you put your heart to something, you tap into an inexhaustible supply of enthusiasm so characteristic of that age. Nothing can stop you, nothing can discourage you, nothing will make you doubt yourself even for an instant. You can work for hours without tiring in persuance of your dreams.
Unity
This is the age where most of the youth either study at the same place or live together. Their spending a lot of time together and same age results in them being very closely knit. A strong force for driving a movement is a sense of belonging.
Fearlessness
When you are young, you have nothing to fear. Simply for the reason that you have nothing to loose. You haven't yet created a life for yourself that you'd be averse to jeopardize. You haven't created a career, a familiy, a home. So those you are up fighting against can't put you to ransom - because you don't have anything that they can take away.
Change
When you are past your youth, you finally accept that the "system" cannot be changed. But the youth will not accept that untill they have first fought to change it. And frequently, they are the only ones who stand any chance of suceeding.
As times change, so do people. And the youth are representative of the change in beliefs, values, ideals, aspirations and desires of people. Looking at them, you get a peek into where the world is heading. Because they are the ones who are going to take the world forward.
Idealism
Youth is a time of believing and pursuing ideals. It's a time where you see things that aren't supposed to be, but are, and take it upon yourself to set things right. To fight for a cause is one of the defining moments of youth.
Conviction
When you are young, you believe everything is possible. You are not weighed down by years of failure and experience that tends to make you practical and compromising. When you want to do something, you go about doing it. You don't think about whether you'll be able to do it. " Of course I'll be able to do it", you hear yourself say, "There are no limits to what I can achieve".
Energy
When you put your heart to something, you tap into an inexhaustible supply of enthusiasm so characteristic of that age. Nothing can stop you, nothing can discourage you, nothing will make you doubt yourself even for an instant. You can work for hours without tiring in persuance of your dreams.
Unity
This is the age where most of the youth either study at the same place or live together. Their spending a lot of time together and same age results in them being very closely knit. A strong force for driving a movement is a sense of belonging.
Fearlessness
When you are young, you have nothing to fear. Simply for the reason that you have nothing to loose. You haven't yet created a life for yourself that you'd be averse to jeopardize. You haven't created a career, a familiy, a home. So those you are up fighting against can't put you to ransom - because you don't have anything that they can take away.
Change
When you are past your youth, you finally accept that the "system" cannot be changed. But the youth will not accept that untill they have first fought to change it. And frequently, they are the only ones who stand any chance of suceeding.
As times change, so do people. And the youth are representative of the change in beliefs, values, ideals, aspirations and desires of people. Looking at them, you get a peek into where the world is heading. Because they are the ones who are going to take the world forward.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
the grass is greener at another time
We are never satisfied with where we are in life, are we?
When we are children we want to grow up so that we can do whatever we want.
When in college we detest is so much that we want to get out of it as soon as possible.
When we start working we want to go back to our carefree college life and hang out with friends.
On getting to middle age we long for our childhood when we had no worries or stress.
And when we retire we fondly remember the times when we had something to do.
When we are children we want to grow up so that we can do whatever we want.
When in college we detest is so much that we want to get out of it as soon as possible.
When we start working we want to go back to our carefree college life and hang out with friends.
On getting to middle age we long for our childhood when we had no worries or stress.
And when we retire we fondly remember the times when we had something to do.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Survival Instincts
You will be surprised to know that most human behaviour and instincitve likes/dislikes (the one's common to almost all people) can be explained on the basis of
Survival and the propagation of one's genes
Well, at least the reasons linking certain behaviour or instincts to the above objective was valid at the time when we were but hunters in the jungle. Somehow after all these years, we haven't yet grown out of a few of them that have become ........."less necessary" shall we say? For example:
Fear of the dark and sudden loud noises:
Our most developed sense is that of sight (relatively). In the dark, a human being is helpless. If something attacks him (a snake or panther), he won't be able to defend himself. So fear of the dark was a nature's way of ensuring man didn't unnecessarily risk his life. Now a predators strike is usually accompanied by a sudden loud noise. So fear boosts man's reflexes/attention and prepares him for flight. Even when man becomes too frightened to move, he becomes harder to see (if camouflaged or in dim light) owing to the fact that moving objects catch the eye better than still ones - which is again a necessity because moving prey and predators are more important than still plants and rocks.
Men desiring beautiful women:
Beauty - especially skin texture, radiance, hair quality, proper weight (neither emaciated nor too much overweight) is a sign of health. A healthy body is necessary to ensure the viablity of offspring.
Women desiring men of power/ men who are caring and understanding:
When mankind lived in tribes, power (think of the tribal chief) brought better promise of safety and food. Today power holds the promise of luxury and social-respect. Men who are caring and understanding have more chances of sticking around when a chlid is born - vital to the future of the child.
Desire for peer approval:
Cavemen who didnt' blend in with the pack weren't welcome. For a pack to stay together solidarity is important. Now members of a pack were mostly an extended family and hence had a lot of common genes. Common genes means common characteristics. That's why instinct made them hostile to outsiders. And that's why today lots of people find it hard to trust other people who are of different ethnicity, religion, colour, language giving rise to communalism.
Parents giving more priority to thier children's needs then thier own, children not reciprocating:
The propagation of life and one's own genes demands that the newer generation be given more preference than the older.
Altruism as a natural calling:
Back in the days when man was part of a pack, the survival of the individual depended on the survival of the whole group. Here, Nobel Laureate John Nash's Game Theory applies: Everyone acting for the common benefit will produce results that are better for everyone than those when each acts for what is best for only his own interests. So if each person on the detection of an enemy (say a predator like a tiger) ran off and alerted the rest instead of running as far as he can from it,this would increase the chances of survival of everyone.
There are more. These are just the ones that come to my mind right now. I'm sure if you try you can think of many more. Please tell me if any occur to you. I hope i've helped you get an insight into the reasons for some of our basic desires, preferences and instincts.
Survival and the propagation of one's genes
Well, at least the reasons linking certain behaviour or instincts to the above objective was valid at the time when we were but hunters in the jungle. Somehow after all these years, we haven't yet grown out of a few of them that have become ........."less necessary" shall we say? For example:
Fear of the dark and sudden loud noises:
Our most developed sense is that of sight (relatively). In the dark, a human being is helpless. If something attacks him (a snake or panther), he won't be able to defend himself. So fear of the dark was a nature's way of ensuring man didn't unnecessarily risk his life. Now a predators strike is usually accompanied by a sudden loud noise. So fear boosts man's reflexes/attention and prepares him for flight. Even when man becomes too frightened to move, he becomes harder to see (if camouflaged or in dim light) owing to the fact that moving objects catch the eye better than still ones - which is again a necessity because moving prey and predators are more important than still plants and rocks.
Men desiring beautiful women:
Beauty - especially skin texture, radiance, hair quality, proper weight (neither emaciated nor too much overweight) is a sign of health. A healthy body is necessary to ensure the viablity of offspring.
Women desiring men of power/ men who are caring and understanding:
When mankind lived in tribes, power (think of the tribal chief) brought better promise of safety and food. Today power holds the promise of luxury and social-respect. Men who are caring and understanding have more chances of sticking around when a chlid is born - vital to the future of the child.
Desire for peer approval:
Cavemen who didnt' blend in with the pack weren't welcome. For a pack to stay together solidarity is important. Now members of a pack were mostly an extended family and hence had a lot of common genes. Common genes means common characteristics. That's why instinct made them hostile to outsiders. And that's why today lots of people find it hard to trust other people who are of different ethnicity, religion, colour, language giving rise to communalism.
Parents giving more priority to thier children's needs then thier own, children not reciprocating:
The propagation of life and one's own genes demands that the newer generation be given more preference than the older.
Altruism as a natural calling:
Back in the days when man was part of a pack, the survival of the individual depended on the survival of the whole group. Here, Nobel Laureate John Nash's Game Theory applies: Everyone acting for the common benefit will produce results that are better for everyone than those when each acts for what is best for only his own interests. So if each person on the detection of an enemy (say a predator like a tiger) ran off and alerted the rest instead of running as far as he can from it,this would increase the chances of survival of everyone.
There are more. These are just the ones that come to my mind right now. I'm sure if you try you can think of many more. Please tell me if any occur to you. I hope i've helped you get an insight into the reasons for some of our basic desires, preferences and instincts.
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