Moral policing isn't acceptable, even by the police

Time: almost midnight. Location: BTM layout, Bangalore. After a delicious dinner, I went to drop off my lady. I parked my bike beside her hostel, and we started talking about something serious. Our discussion was unpleasantly interrupted by a pair of policemen who, for some reason, decided to pull over when they saw us.

"What are you doing here? What is the relationship between you two?" they asked. Not that it was any of their business but I told them what they didn't have the basic intelligence to infer: "We are talking. And she's my girlfriend". "Do you know what time it is? Why don't you talk to her in her room?". "Yeah, it's around 11:30 and I can't talk to her in her room because her hostel has a stupid no-boys rule." Honestly, I don't understand the paranoid zeal with which we Indians attempt to segregate the sexes. We humans think too much of ourselves when we believe we can suppress the laws of nature.

Then the policemen started to show their disdain at what we "outsiders" have done to the image of the city. "Which state are you from?". "Orissa", I said. That's all the ammunition he needed."This is not Bhubaneswar. This is Bangalore. These things are not allowed here. You will have to follow the law". I have a lot of things to say about that statement. First, the way he said it, it sounded like he said "This is not Bhubaneswar, this is a village". Heck, if you can't stay out late in a broad-minded, largely youth dominated metro like Bangalore, where can you? Second, even if this were Bhubaneswar, would that make any difference to his attitude? Third, exactly what things are not allowed here? Is there any law against talking to someone on the streets at night? Last time I checked, roads were public property and there wasn't any curfew in force in this city.

The only argument that the cops could have put forth was societal propriety. But since when did we encharge the police with that task? Their job is to uphold the law. Not safeguard our morals. Let society take care of that responsibility.

"Now get out of here. This is your first warning." one of them said gruffly. I was indignant. What right did he have to speak to me as if i were a wallet thief? Why do people put up with police incivility when it is the people via the constitution from which the police derives it's power? I was about to give him a piece of my mind. But then I decided against it because that would not have served my purpose. You see, cops aren't used to having intellectual debates with the kind of people they usually deal with. I probably wouldn't have been able to bring them over to my point-of-view. I can, however, make the public realize that they have every right to not tolerate moral policing or rude behavior from the police.
After all, the police derive their power from our consent and their salaries from our pocket.

How to avoid causing offence

1. Delay.
This gives you time to think (of the effect of your words) before you speak. Use a niceness filter.

2. Never attack a weak-point.
Every person has a shortcoming that he/she is aware of. Never hit the chink of their armour. For example never tease a short guy about his height or a dull girl about her intelligence.

3. Let go of your ego.
If you stop caring about your own "importance" then you will hardly pay attention to any "affronts" to you - real or imagined. Then there will be no need to retaliate. This is actually the secret to never having quarrels/fights: Not minding.

1 is hard to do and requires a lot of practice.
2 requires that you know the person well.
3 is hard even to accept; it is so contrary to what we hold on tightly to. But imbibing it will make you a much happier and friendlier person.

House Hunting

There is hardly anything that gives you more tension than having to look for an apartment to rent or having to plan a house to build. My friends are amazed at how cool I am - in the sense that "mein load nahi leta". Even I myself don't remember the last time I was worried. But this house hunting business has sucked out all my peace of mind.
Among the things that you have to look out for in an apartment are:

Power backup
Steady clean water supply
Proximity of office
Proximity of shopping area
Accessiblity to main roads and rest of city
Size of rooms
Number of rooms
Number of bathrooms
Furnishing
Furniture
Locality
Rent

It's really hard to find good values of all the above variables in the same house. When that does happen though, another value throws you off balance: the advance required immediately to seal the deal. So while house hunting, like in life, you can't have everything. You'll have to compromise on something. But compromise on which one? ................ That's for you to decide.

propriety vs speed of execution

A few days ago, my prof told me to write the whole question in the index of my AI lab file. What I do is write just the gist of the question in about 4-5 words. The idea is that the only people that are going to read it are students or profs and both are familiar with the questions. So it only needs a few keywords to remind them of what the question is about. Writing the whole question is like defeating the whole purpose of an index - which is to find out the contents of a file with minimum time and effort. And if she still isn't sure what an entry is she can look it up inside. The complete question is written inside anyways. So i told my prof that writing the whole question is a waste of time of both the writer and the reader that's why i won't do it.

This case is just an example of a greater malaise in the thinking of the people of our country. We give more importance to what is "proper" than to what will speed up execution and save valuable time. We think it more important to show all the information rather than only that which is relevant and necessary. I believe this is one of the biggest differences between the thinking of people from  developing and developed countries.

koi lauta de mujhe woh bachpan ke din ....... woh kagaz ki kashti ....... woh barish ka pani

This was the status message of Varun on gtalk. It touched something deep inside me. Kind of made me long for my childhood days. The funny thing about being in the final semester of engineering is that u don't spend your nostalgic moments remembering the stuff you used to do in college but rather the things you used to do when you were a child or when you were in high school. Maybe you'll think of the former once you finally do pass out. However I do regularly remind myself that the privilleges that I have now (lots of free time, no worries, the luxury of being able to meet a friend at any time of the day - or night) will be something i'll long for years after passing out. Hence I try to enjoy them as long as I can.

Before I had got a job offer, my seniors used to tell me that once u're placed, life at college is boring. I used to think "that's not gonna happen to me". I was always doing something or the other. I always kept myself busy. So there seemed no way that I (the great me) would be bored. Par jab mera number aaya, I found myself in the same desolate land I was warned of - boredom. That's not because I didn't have anything to do - it was because I didn't feel like doing anything. Mann nahi lag raha tha. So while I was right that not having something to do wouldn't be the cause of my boredom a whole other reason popped up that I hadn't even thought of. Talk of Murphy's law.

And while I am on the topic of life @ my college, let me tell you what I think the biggest problems among the students here are: arrogance and narrow mindedness. Most of the guys here were once among the toppers of their class while in school. So all the respect that they got probably got into their head. Being proud of yourself is acceptable ........ but to the extent that you refuse to appreciate someone else's capabilities? As for narrow mindedness, if a guy talks to a girl in class just casually, he is teased by his male friends. What kind of perversion is that? It's interesting to note that the one's who tease are the same ones that don't have the guts to go up and talk to a girl. The girls are no better. They never take a conversation forward. Instead they look at you as if you are going to rape them. Gawwar sab ke sab. At least this was the case for our branch in the first two years. Needless to say, things didn't improve much in the following years. Last sem when we were to present our projects, a female classmate asked me whether the next one to go in was Remish. I said "I don't know. Why don't u go ask Remish?" To which she replied "How can i do that? I've never talked to him before." What? If that's a reason not to talk to someone then logically she can't have talked to anyone since she was born. How can anyone talk to new people if the prerequisite to talking to them is to already have talked to them before? And if u can't go and talk to your own classmate in your final year then that does not indicate a healthy level of interaction among students of your class.

(This article was written in a moment of weakness when i gave free reign to my feelings. For those who complain that my articles are impersonal, relish this one, coz u're not gonna catch me getting personal very often)